Anatomy of a Photograph: DONE

There are days when you can order your thoughts. Write something people respond to, and can understand. Then there are days like today, where you're in meltdown, and stream of consciousness is all you can manage.

To wit...

It's funny to look at a photograph, and try and put yourself back in the time and place and headspace when you shot it. This one could be entitled 'irony'. I was on one of the single best trips of my life, out on a boat at the time of this shot, and yet somehow, my boyfriend and the lady who was with us were nowhere to be found. I was alone, and I felt alone, and this summed it all up. I fought for this shot. Almost got blown off the boat by the force of that water rushing down. Almost froze to death in my flip-flops when there was snow and ice all around us. Almost lost my camera to water damage, when i'm usually hyper vigilant.

As you've no doubt guessed, he broke up with me (via email, no less) right after said trip. Photographic portent, perhaps?

Like I said,
irony.

Stream of consciousness begins .... now.

26th of June?.... the 26th. Of. June. I'm not even going to be in the country then. Oh god. I am so over this. I am so fucking over this. I am so fucking over waiting and sitting around being held back by my STUPID brain and my even STUPIDER body from doing the things I wasn't to do, and living the life I want to live. I am so tired. I am so so so tired.. and so so so done.
I thought this shit would be over by now. That I could walk to my heart's content in the Wald with my Ma. Walk faster than my 88 year old grandmother without being in constant pain. That I wouldn't have to spend days sitting around trying to minimize the pain and irritation. To be free of these fucking stupidly practical realities of this body. This constant reminder of every med, every failed 'therapy', every hurt, every shame, every EVERYTHING. I am so ... so... done. Disappointed, devastated, and DONE.
FIN

(yes, it's hard to just lay everything out on the line. that said, I believe very strongly in dealing in the truth. I don't have a high tolerance for bullshit. I hope I can encourage people to share, and that maybe someone will read this, and not feel done, devastated, and alone.)

Yoddles,
nush



Beauty by Nush: Talking Curly Hair Care

I was washing my hair today and my brain was all "Self, you should do a my-hair-care post".

 

Yes, I am so profound it's ridiculous.

 

In magazines, and on shampoo bottles etc, you're always separated into categories. Straight. Damaged. Curly. Dry. Coloured. Dull. Flat. Thin. Balding. It's the hair equivalent of apple, pear, triangle, cello ... and whatever other "body shapes" they've come up with.

 

You know how many people fall into just one of those categories? Bugger All.

 

I for one currently have long bleached blond hair, that's somewhere between wavy and curly (read: voluminous frizz bomb), and it's also dry and damaged (how many categories was that?). AAAAANDDD I live in the tropics. Oh joy.

 

Having worked in the beauty magazine industry (I had to stop when they started getting me to write the "letters from readers" page), i'm also a product junkie (see how I passed that blame there?). I have tried ... A CRAP TON of products. So i'm going to share with you a few things that I think are genius, and work well with my hair. No guarantee they will work for you, all but one are from the drugstore so even if they don't, you haven't squandered your money.

Sweet?

 

 

1. Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine 72H Fortifying Shampoo and Conditioner. Amazing. I used this even before I bleached my hair, and I do now, and it works just as well as any Redken / Fekkai/whatever. It contains Phyto-Keratin which strengthens and protects (anti-frizz me!), and Argan oil to nourish. You can use the conditioner like a mask, I typically leave it on for 5 or so minutes until i'm done shaving my legs. I don't know if i'd recommend this to people with thin/limp hair, but anyone else, definitely great value for money. I love the whole Garnier hair product line, but this is the best.

 



 

 

 

 

   2. Now, in case you have a bit more money, and are interested in natural/ vegan/ green type products (still recommend the Garnier), then I have an alternative for you. They are Rehab shampoo, and American Cream conditioner from LUSH. The shampoo itself has oils and enzymes and all sorts of good stuff (it also has mint so your scalp feels nice and tingly). I'd pair that with American Cream, which not only smells fantastic, but has honey and lavender to take care of your ends and your scalp respectively.

 

 

3. Now, post shower I apply Loreal's Total Repair 5 Leave In Night Essence (mouthful). The main ingredient in this is Cement Ceramide which mimics what naturally occurring ceramide does; it fills in the cracks in the hair shaft and seals the cuticle: VOILA! shiny hair. Apply BEFORE you put a towel anywhere near your head. One pump will do (don't even think about it brain).



 

4.  After that I apply a pump (what?! 'a squirt' would be worse) of John Frieda Extra Strength Hair Serum. I recommend starting at your ends, and then using what's left on your hands on the rest of your head (try to stay away from your crown + bangs if you have them). Yes it's a silicone product; if that bothers you, don't use it. I have tried a bunch of the "no sulphates/dimethicone/and so on" products that naturalists recommend and my hair turned out ... EW. NO. I've been using this for years, and it's the best. Again, use after the leave in, but before you dry.

 

Applying your product before you dab at it with a (hopefully microfiber) towel works best on curly hair. We just always dump more than we need to on there.

 

5. Finally, I want to share with you a fairly newly discovered product that blew my mind. It's by Midori, and it's their Ultimate Repair Mask. It's less mainstream than the others, but if you can get your hands on it ... do so. It's a mask recommended to a lot of people with rebonded (chemically straightened) hair. Once or twice a week, apply this mask to your hair, put a shower cap on, and leave it to your heart's content (if that's like 2 minutes, no worries). Hydrolyzed wheat protein, Keratin, Aloe, and carrot seed oil work together to smooth, moisturize, and repair your hair.

 

Just like that, i'm done. As always I hope you get something out of this. I hope it's somehow useful to you. If you try something from the list, let me know your impressions of it. If you have your own recommendations, please do let me know.

 

Yoddles,

nush

 

 

 

 

 

Makeup By Nush: 5 ways to Waken Up your Face/ Look like you made an effort (Birthday post)

Last anatomy post? a little (lot) dark and ominous. This one, not so much. I think it's especially good if you are having a somewhat dark and ominous day; i.e. a I don't want to wear any damned foundation/ hair product/ non-sweatpants. So today, in honour of my birthday,  here are 5 simple (and I actually mean simple) ways to look like you gave a shit, and make sure that even on a shitty day, your face doesn't show it.

 

Number One: Blush

 



eyeshadows from the bhcosmetics 120 1st edition palette

Not just any blush. We're talking peachy-pinky-corally. Now normally, bronzer would be the first thing everyone would recommend; HOWEVER, I think those blessed with redhead skin (pale people, pale!) can embrace it with blush instead. Essentially, blush is universal. I can tell you with my skin (tan, mixed race), blush works a lot better. The trick is knowing where to apply. 1- start on your cheekbones and swirl down to your apples, and up to your temples. 2- with what's left on your brush, go over your chin, hairline, and the bridge of your nose. These are the places where you would typically burn or tan, and the overall effect makes you look like you just came back from a beach vacation.

Number Two: Eyeliner

You're thinking "are you friggin kidding me?! you want me to LINE MY EYES?!". Yes, and NO. Be at peace Oh pissed off one. Let me explain. Behold, Exhibit A.

before
The naked eye. Sad. Tired. Lost. What it needs is some definition. Which brings me to Exhibits B and C.

 After Gel Liner

 

After Liquid Liner

 

Look like liner to you? A lot more defined, huh? Eyes pop a little more. Exhibit B was using a gel liner Pencil (Avon Supershock), Exhibit C with a liquid liner (Maybelline HyperSharp). You can use any kind of liner you like, as long as it's not so dry that you have to pull and rub your skin to get the colour to show up. Ironically, in this case, a liquid will give you the more subtle effect. Here's what you do: dot the liner between your lashes. Not above them, not below, but between. Just make dots from the inner to the outer corner, and along the bottom lashes if you like. No difficult lines. No trying to sync up both sides. No need to start over multiple times. Dots. The end. That definition makes a HUGE difference (works well for mature skinned ladies too).

 

Number Three: Champagne Highlighter

 

inner corner highlight (by Catrice)

When you're tired, or stressed, or have been sitting at a computer for hours, you've likely been rubbing at your eyes a little, and it's unlikely you've been in the mood to do some sort of spoon in the freezer trick. Here's where a highlight on the inner corner of the eye does wonders. Even if you didn't both with concealer (as in this picture), a highlighter helps deemphasize the pinky/redness around your eyes, and the blue shadows a lot of people have where the inner corner of the eye meets the nose. It reflects light from this area, opening up the eye (especially if you've gone a bit heaving on liner/mascara/eye makeup). I find it also picks up highlights in your iris. A champagne colour works well on all skin tones as it's neither too cool or too warm.

Number Four: Concealer

...speaking of concealer, this, in my opinion is the number one thing you can do to perk up your face. Behold!

after concealer

See the difference? the right concealer is a thing of beauty. For your under eye, try something more liquid/creamy. Here I used a sample from Laura Mercier (yeah I cannot afford 99% of makeup). For the face, feel free to use a drier product that stays put. If you only want to do the bare minimum, conceal under your eyes, and around your nose. Even if you have spots, these two places will make a world of difference. Every time I have a bout of pimple-it is, I find that trying to glop cover up over spots can make a dried up mess (especially if you're using acne products with benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid) that highlights more than conceals the problem.

 

Number Five: Blue Mascara

bluey (by Kiko)


Blue mascara makes the whites of your eyes standout more. This goes back to what I said about tired eyes. Blood vessels become more prominent (thus the term bloodshot) as your eyes become dry and irritated. The blue also helps take the focus away from your pinky-mc-pink eyelids. Now, you do not have to go full-on electric blue. I find it fun, but there are ways to tone it down for more serious occasions (or if you're over a certain age and are determined to be "a laaaady"). Use a dark indigo or navy mascara instead. Only use the blue on your upper lashes. Mix mascaras by coating eyes with your usual black/brown, followed with a coat of blue (or reverse the order, both work fine). You can also use your regular mascara, and coat just the tips of the lashes with blue.

As always, I hope this helps some people. Inspires some people. Is a halfway interesting read. And i'll talk to y'all again soon.

Yoddles,
nush

 

 

Anatomy of a Photograph: A Drop in the Ocean

I was trying to find a shot that mirrored my mind and my soul and my life right now, and I came to this. People always talk about a drop (c'mon, you know you've heard of the drop), that falls into a pool, and causes ripples.... 

 

No?... Grandmother Willow?... Master Oogway?...your garden variety shrink?

 

Still no?

 

Dude. You need to watch more Disney movies.

 

It's one of those much-loved analogies; the smallest person/action/inaction/thing can cause unintended and unforeseen and great and far-reaching consequences.

 

Thing is, they're always talking about a drop of water.

 

 

 

Having bipolar disorder (thaaaat's me!), or depression, or I'm sure any kind of mental/ psychological illness, or ... hell. If you break up with someone. If you're grieving a loss. If you're a teenager (the end). If you're menopausal. If you're angry (or raging). If you're a victim. If you're being bullied. If you're a bully. If you're lost. If you're stuck.

 

If if if if if.

 

You aren't dealing with a drop of water.

You're dealing with a drop of blood. Your's, or someone's you've drawn.

 

Blood doesn't ripple. Cause unintended and unforeseen and great and far-reaching consequences? Sure.

But blood is different.

 

A drop of blood sits on the surface for a while, so that you see it. So that you know it's there. So that you feel it's there. So that you know you're wounded. Or that you have wounded.

 

Then it sinks...slowly. So you have time to revel in it all.

 

And then it disperses.

You can't see it anymore. You try to convince yourself you never saw it. Never felt it. Try to forget, or pretend the wounds away. You'll likely succeed at it. For awhile.

 

You're fine. They're fine. Everything is fine.

 

YAY!

 

(Insert my "hah.. NO" face. Yes I need to make a gif)

 

Ohhh it's there.

While you're vacationing in Denialtown, that blood is floating and rotting and sinking and stinking and under that surface...

 

it's drawing all the sharks to it.

 

And they're coming for you.

 

 

 [this is today. this was yesterday. hopefully it won't be tomorrow]

 

Makeup by Nush: Lilac Lavender Purple Colour Story

2 weeks later, and I still haven't published this. I am so sorry. Really. I did and photographed some of the looks, and then (AND THEN) the dosage of one of my medications got bumped up. Thus began the nausea, shaking, exhaustion, hyper skin sensitivity etc etc etc. Not fun.
HOWEVER I am trying to do a couple of looks a day, and have decided to make this kind of an omnibus post, where I address makeup for different eye shapes, skin types and so on, and I do hope to post this some time within the next week. Again, my apologies. Right, let's go to the original intro.

So I bought a ring.

Thank you Lovisa (my absolute favourite place to buy rings and jewellery in general). Hold up while I take a photo of it, upload it to my computer, reduce the file size, upload it to Picasa, and then paste it in here (it's even more exhausting than you'd imagine).

 

It's taken this long for me to reload after my last makeup post. 

Anyway, behold my inspirations:

Said Lovisa ring

A recent pedicurial experiment of mine

New H&M top

Using 'lilac' may be somewhat misleading. If you look up pictures of real lilacs, or lilacs in art (Monet has a few) , the colour in question seems more a range of shades, as opposed to something you can pin down. Everything from a medium blue, to a cool pastel purple, to something more reddish all seem to fall under 'lilac'.

With this post I'm hoping to give you some inspiration of your own. I want to show you some pairings that look good, how you can use lilac in your everyday makeup or smoke it out for evening; all sorts of things. As always, i'm going to use a minimum of products, all from the drugstore. 

FYI: My eyes aren't big fans of mascara, and I barely ever wear any (I know! mad! what?!), so with all of these looks, i'm going to leave that up to you.

Products used: bh Cosmetics 120 color palette (1st ed), bh cosmetics 66 Color Lipgloss palette, Qianyu Palette, Maybelline HyperSharp liner, and 2 shadow brushes. 

A B C

If you only have a little bit of time, or don't typically do much to your face, this is a really simple way to make your eyes pop.

For these shots, I dampened a shadow brush, packed some warm / cool toned purple on it, and then patted it onto my lash lines and my lashes (dab a clear sticky gloss onto lashes if you want to create a mascara-like effect).  

Smoking Lilacs
  

 This is a basic (2 colours!) smoky eye. 1- Sweep a light to mid-tone lavender coloured shadow all over your lid, slightly above your crease, and along the outer two thirds of your lower lashline. 2- Using a wet brush and greater pressure, apply a more intense wash of the same colour on the outer V. 3- Apply a champagne/ white pearly shadow on the inner corner of your eye and on your brow-bone.  4- Blend. Add liner and/or mascara and/or falsies as you like.


 
Another smoky eye, this one slightly more complicated, with a larger gradient.  1- Pat a light purple shadow over the entire lid (I used a tacky gloss instead). 2- Pat a nude shadow in the inner corner, and on the brow-bone. 3- Use your mid-tone lavender in the middle of your lid. 4- Using a light hand, pat a blackened eggplant (you can literally pat on a dark purple, and then pat on a black shadow) onto the outer third of the eye, pulling it upward, and slightly out. 5- Tight-line your upper lashline, and the outer 2/3rds of the lower lashline with a black liner. Note: this would look great with falsies for a night out.

Man. I am so sick of looking at my own eyes. Somebody give me their eyes! wait...no. Don't do that.

 1- Use a finger to pat a bluish purple shadow all over your lid, stopping below the crease. 2- Blend a pinkish purple into, and slightly above the crease. 3- I used a strong bright glittery blue, but you could use ANY colour you wanted, and patted it on the centre of the top and bottom lids. 4- Pat a grey/charcoal shadow on the outer V, and across 2/3rds of the lower lashline.

Now, if you happened to catch some of the Fall 2013 shows recently, you'd have noticed some grunge- adjacency going on at shows like YSL (don't talk to me about "Saint Laurent") and Rodarte. You'd also have seen (for both Spring and Fall 2013) a hell of a lot of gloss being used on the eyes (Sophie Allet, Kenzo, Antonio Berardi). Therefore, some modifications....

Now, grunge means more black, and gloss means your shadow is going to slip and slide. Usually, right into any creases on your lids. So avoid, if that's not something you like. Me? LOVE IT. Vaseline is as good as anything for this. You may find you have to pat on more colour afterwards. Don't worry about making mistakes, the key to grunge is finding perfection in imperfection.

 

HOLD THE PHONE. Two things I want to share with you (mostly because i'm a huge makeup dork and I think they're soooo cool, hah). First, one of my tweets is featured in the April Allure Magazine (pg 28), and a few pages later, there's this Sephora ad titled 'Dream On: Lucid Lilac'. 

SQUEAL!!

How on the nose is this?!

Your cat's making eyes at me

 Even before I started typing I knew there would be a lot of overlap between categories, especially this one. Sometimes you inadvertently end up with a cat-eye.

Single colour (mild) cat-eye. Easy as.

If you have...a monolid: (without a crease) this works really well. Trying to "create" a crease is usually a bad idea. Highlight under the brow-bone, and run a thin layer of liner along your upper lash line. Mascara, and BLAM- done.

 

If you have... round eyes: (or you're just looking for that sexy sultry thing without spackling products on) this is the ideal cat-eye. The liner is thin, and starts at the pupil, and pulls outward. This visually lengthens your eyes, and makes them look more almond than round. If you have... hooded eyes: with your eyes open it'll probably be tough for anyone to see shadow on your lids. Using colour on your lower lash line is a good way to go. Putting makeup above your crease, especially for daytime, will look heavy.

 

 

 



A few pages later in this month's Allure, the Beauty Report is all about "Sunrise Eyes". The universe is hitting it out of the park at the moment. Anyway, consider this my lilac version. If you have ...aging / crepey eyes: this is a good way to do colour. There are no harsh black lines, the colour is close to the lash line for definition, without looking heavy. These two colours look good no matter what your eye colour.

 

Such a small change, but this is great if you have... almond shaped/small/tired eyes: It hits on the mod look, but in a subtle way. The liner is much thicker which serves to pull the gaze upward. The lower waterline is lined with white, wakening the eye which is often red in that area when one is tired.  The flick is small, but again, visually pulls the eye upward. Again, the eye isn't closed in.

 

 

If you have... heavy eyelids/ eyes that are a little sad: here's a bit of smoke and mirrors. Using quite a strong purple, line your waterline and lower and upper lash lines. Apply the same colour in, and slightly above your crease. Create a slight wing by pulling everything out to the outer V into a point. Then take a white or champagne (anything light), and fill in the space between the lines. The dark parts will seem to recede, and the light will standout.

 

 

If you want to play a little :)

 Colour me ...colourful

(genius)

 

 

Colour of the season= Emerald according to Pantone + Sephora, so...

Red gloss with aubergine liner

Salmon, lilac, and blue lashes
 

Kerbluey

Antoni Alison inspired




 



Everyday Neutral

 

A neutral eye (whether you're looking at your Urban Decay Naked Palette, or you have a quad from Maybelline or whatever) is probably most people's go-to for eyes. Depending on your colouring, or just what you like more really, most people fall into grey nudes, or brown nudes.

 

Grey:

 

 Just a light wash of a pinky lilac goes beautifully with your grey neutral eye. You can dress it up if you need to go somewhere straight from work/ don't have time to do much by adding some silver and charcoal shimmer, like so...

 

                         

 

  

 

 

 

Browns:

 

 

 







 

These are rather typical 'warm' brown/neutral eye looks with a bit of a twist. The look on the left has a bright violet shadow on the waterline, while the look on the right has both plum and lilac shadows in the crease and outer corner.
















 

 



The look above is also a brown neutral eye, but much cooler and less golden than the looks above. Mini how-to: 1- pastel purple shade all over the lid. 2- dark brown under the eye and blended into the outer V. 3- Iridescent dark plum in the crease and in the outer V. 4- Blue-toned lilac shadow in the inner corner and first third of the eye. 

 

The fat lady's singing

 Now I couldn't close things out without some ultra purple makeup, now could I?

Phew.
Oh man.

I hope you find this useful or interesting, and that it inspires you to play around with your makeup.

Yoddles,
Nush